As a divorced parent, you probably already have a custody arrangement and visitation schedule in place. However, sometimes, things come up and you may need to work out a few kinks. In other instances, there may have never been a holiday schedule agreed upon. Whatever the case may be, if you need to visit for the first time or re-visit family holiday arrangements, here are a few tips to help make things a bit easier on you.
1. Ask the Kids!
Depending on the circumstances and the ages of the children involved, you may be able to gain some helpful insight from them on what to do during the holidays. Ask them what they want to do this year. Maybe you and your child moved several hundred miles away after the divorce and your child would like to spend Christmas with your ex in order to see a few old friends.
2. Be Flexible.
Maybe you aren't the parent that needs something this year. Maybe it's your ex that is asking for a day or two to be moved around this holiday in order for your child to see some of his or her out-of-town family. If this is family that your child doesn't see often, then you need to work it out so that your child can see them (unless there is a valid reason for this meeting to not occur). Otherwise, by saying no, you are only hurting your child in the process by preventing them to see members of their family. Also, keep in mind that you do your ex a favor this year so that when you need something next year, they'll hopefully help you out.
3. Consider Splitting the Holiday Right Down the Middle.
This one takes some planning, but it can often be the best solution for divorced parents with children. By splitting the holiday, your child will spend half of the day with you and the other half of the day with your ex.
4. Do What You Have to in Order to Maintain Cool Communication.
In order to work out an arrangement, you are going to have to speak to your ex – even if you don't want to. The best thing you can do here is to know what makes you tick regarding your ex. Is it his or her voice? If you feel like you want to blow a gasket each time you hear your ex's voice, consider communicating via text or e-mail. Is it his or her face? If you can't stand the sight of your ex, consider communicating by phone. Whatever you can do to keep your cool and still discuss visitation is crucial to coming out of this unscathed.
If you can't seem to work things out on your own, don't hesitate to contact a family law attorney in your area for assistance. Family law attorneys like those at Rosenmeier Law Office will provide personalized counsel for your situation.Share